[Verse 1]
We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck
And this lady about ran us off the road in a Cadillac
She just kind of smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said, "Look at that Big, Fat b**h"
So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went
[Chorus]
Big fat b**h
She's a big old, big old, fat b**h
She goes to Ryan's and they say, sh**
This one's going to cost us
She's a big old b**h
She's a big old b**h
[Verse 2]
She sweats grits
You can hide a pound of dope
Under one of her tits
[Chorus]
[Verse 3]
Who stole Christmas
The Grinch
Who stole the Twinkies
Big fat b**h
[Chorus]
[Verse 4]
Yeah, she had this Cajun friend
Who had a pet alligator
She ate that some b**h
Like it was a green Now & Later
Or a fried green da-mator
You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush
To masturbate her
[Chorus]
[Verse 5]
When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, "Hey Wanda"
And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong"
And now her Pogo stick says, "Holy f**ing sh**"
And they go "Bount, bount"
[Chorus]
[Verse 6]
She gargles and drools and spits
And she makes all kinds of noise
She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham
In her corduroys
[Chorus]