Hey Mom, hey Dad, I'm home
Look, Hunny, it's our little mistake!
Come give mommie a hug, but be careful, I'm on the rag!
Mmm, cherry slushies for everyone!
Haha, how was your day?*
For starters it s**ed a** 'cause my boss is a dickhead
God handed out sticks and gave me the sh**-end
Ridden with hoes, no kiddin' like one's spittin'
Got two right on my neck, three blister and on my dick-end
Clock tickin', sickin' and stickin' these rhymes inside of a beat
When really nobody's listen
White trash, Johnny No-Cash
Tried to sell weed but thugs slapped me and took my stash
*Son, what's with the sh**face?
Golly f**, Dad, h**n prices are through the roof
and my allowance just won't cut it anymore. I'm jonesin' for a hit!
Try whorin' your body, like Mom does!*
The local outcast with a rash on my inner thigh
Tryin' to outrun these b**hes who all want me to die
Waitin' for some rappers to die so maybe I can get a chance
Without a song about makin' b**hes dance
I hope all the clubs close
'Cause so many a**holes trapped in one building
Should burn like great white shows
And all our hope is to pose a threat
Try to change what rap music hopes and I forget
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
My life never resembled an episode of Full House
You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out
I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about
*Dad? I need to borrow $300
$300? What for, son?
Well, I got Jenny knocked up again!
Son, did I ever tell you about your mother and the wire-hanger?*
Clout? Nope, none of that
America hates me like Yasur Arafat
You f**ers remember that
I feel obligated to tell you that in the past
Oh yes, I playa-hated
Now sh** is different, now I'm playa-jaded
Most of these so called MCs is overrated and outdated
New dawn, and it's a red one
The only good rapper to me is a dead one
*Golly, Dad, is it ever O.K. to hit a woman?
Son, in my day, it wasn't right to hit a woman.
But now that equal rights have been established, you wallop that c*nt!
And kick her while she's down!*
Nah, I'm just f**in' around, I know I sound bitter
I grew up in a town where white kids say "What up, n***a?"
When they all wanna be, it's ironic to me that that's what I get called
Just 'cause I wanna jump up on a beat
So f** all you a**holes, past present and future
Hope a young thug fires at me, misses and shoots ya
I wouldn't lie, man, I tell the truth to ya
There's no tellin' what this f**in' town'll do to ya
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
My life never resembled an episode of Full House
You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out
The sitcom ain't real, what it's about
Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts
I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out
I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about
Most of you a**holes all think you gangstas
99% of you's are f**in' fake, ain't ya's?
That's why I hate ya's
Verbal Heaven's gate knock a f**in' hole in my head, insert a metal plate
I feel empty, kinda plastic
When this sh** drops I'ma get my f**in' a** kicked
But that's O.K. with me, I'd die for the cause
'Cause my only purpose in life is to f** with ya'lls
I hate your f**in' guts 'cause my record got bumped back
You went double-platinum, I went double-hubcap
A rugrat, you'd be pissed too s**in' a freshly dubbed track
What the f** would you do?
*Gee whillikers Dad, does it ever get any easier?
Son, if there's one thing I've learned it's this:
We're all gonna live and die in this sh**ty, sh**ty town* (He's right)
And the funny thing is, he is right. I bid you farewell
from sh** Town, America, folks. Get home safe,
ladies and gentlemen. Hold your girlfriends tight,
and pretend not to notice their mouths taste like your best friends dick.
'Cause in the end you're just a small town piece of sh**. Smile!
Until next time folks, it's Weerd Science. f** off.