Weerd Science - The Sitcom Really Really Isn't All That Real lyrics

Hey Mom, hey Dad, I'm home Look, Hunny, it's our little mistake! Come give mommie a hug, but be careful, I'm on the rag! Mmm, cherry slushies for everyone! Haha, how was your day?* For starters it s**ed a** 'cause my boss is a dickhead God handed out sticks and gave me the sh**-end Ridden with hoes, no kiddin' like one's spittin' Got two right on my neck, three blister and on my dick-end Clock tickin', sickin' and stickin' these rhymes inside of a beat When really nobody's listen White trash, Johnny No-Cash Tried to sell weed but thugs slapped me and took my stash *Son, what's with the sh**face? Golly f**, Dad, h**n prices are through the roof and my allowance just won't cut it anymore. I'm jonesin' for a hit! Try whorin' your body, like Mom does!* The local outcast with a rash on my inner thigh Tryin' to outrun these b**hes who all want me to die Waitin' for some rappers to die so maybe I can get a chance Without a song about makin' b**hes dance I hope all the clubs close 'Cause so many a**holes trapped in one building Should burn like great white shows And all our hope is to pose a threat Try to change what rap music hopes and I forget The sitcom ain't real, what it's about Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts My life never resembled an episode of Full House You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out The sitcom ain't real, what it's about Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about *Dad? I need to borrow $300 $300? What for, son? Well, I got Jenny knocked up again! Son, did I ever tell you about your mother and the wire-hanger?* Clout? Nope, none of that America hates me like Yasur Arafat You f**ers remember that I feel obligated to tell you that in the past Oh yes, I playa-hated Now sh** is different, now I'm playa-jaded Most of these so called MCs is overrated and outdated New dawn, and it's a red one The only good rapper to me is a dead one *Golly, Dad, is it ever O.K. to hit a woman? Son, in my day, it wasn't right to hit a woman. But now that equal rights have been established, you wallop that c*nt! And kick her while she's down!* Nah, I'm just f**in' around, I know I sound bitter I grew up in a town where white kids say "What up, n***a?" When they all wanna be, it's ironic to me that that's what I get called Just 'cause I wanna jump up on a beat So f** all you a**holes, past present and future Hope a young thug fires at me, misses and shoots ya I wouldn't lie, man, I tell the truth to ya There's no tellin' what this f**in' town'll do to ya The sitcom ain't real, what it's about Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts My life never resembled an episode of Full House You stay stuck in this town you'll scream 'til your lungs come out The sitcom ain't real, what it's about Money's for gangstas not high school dropouts I get so frustrated the vein in my forehead pops out I'm more dead than dead people buried and forgotten about Most of you a**holes all think you gangstas 99% of you's are f**in' fake, ain't ya's? That's why I hate ya's Verbal Heaven's gate knock a f**in' hole in my head, insert a metal plate I feel empty, kinda plastic When this sh** drops I'ma get my f**in' a** kicked But that's O.K. with me, I'd die for the cause 'Cause my only purpose in life is to f** with ya'lls I hate your f**in' guts 'cause my record got bumped back You went double-platinum, I went double-hubcap A rugrat, you'd be pissed too s**in' a freshly dubbed track What the f** would you do? *Gee whillikers Dad, does it ever get any easier? Son, if there's one thing I've learned it's this: We're all gonna live and die in this sh**ty, sh**ty town* (He's right) And the funny thing is, he is right. I bid you farewell from sh** Town, America, folks. Get home safe, ladies and gentlemen. Hold your girlfriends tight, and pretend not to notice their mouths taste like your best friends dick. 'Cause in the end you're just a small town piece of sh**. Smile! Until next time folks, it's Weerd Science. f** off.