("Colonel Sanders was a bit odd. His only instructions were to play this record.")
[Intro]
This track is for all my fans from back in the day. I mean way, way back. Before I was a rapper, before I was a writer, back when all I did was make YTP's. I'm talkin 2007, the year that begins my legend
[Hook 1]
Yo, the legacy that I have left
Is the opposite of the king's in Ozymandias
My statue will withstand the ravages of time
A symbol of greatness for all of mankind
[Verse 1]
Yo, Poop was born in 2006
Twelve months later, I'm already gettin clicks
Most people back then using effects and tricks
'Til I showed the world how to sentence mix
My first ten were okay, but my eleventh one
"Uncensored Sonic 2," was like an explosion
YouChew was all over me. If I
Put my name in a thread's title, the sh** would go viral
The "Seven Words" era, everyone was impressed
Chew printed my articles on their news sec
And though a lot of their users were cool and supported me
Most of y'all are ba*tards and can f** a roll of quarters, G
RabbitSnore's a rabbit who should get stabbed with a carrot
Then hit with a mallet 'til his blood's on my palette
I use it to paint a sign that says "RabbitSnore s**s"
Break off the post and shove the pointy end up his bu*t
...I know this sounds like a tangent, but damn it
I still haven't abandoned my plans to jam his a** yet
The wood's splitting apart and filling his colon with splinters
But I push it in farther, spiking its way through his innards
And I keep going 'til it reaches his mouth
Break the post in two without taking it out
Pour lemon juice directly in his rectum
(Hey, why are you so mad?) Because he was a sh**ty admin
...It may sound like I'm burning a bridge
But we're talking YouChew, I'm burning a piece of sh**
[Interlude]
("He hardly touched his penis")
("What you two need is a bath with Dr. Robotnik")
("Even if they are dead")
[Verse 2]
After that were some of my greatest accomplishments
One of the big names six months after I started
"Hot, Sticky Fluids" started a whole fad
Unfortunately, most of the imitators were bad
I got #1 on PimpsAhoy's "Top 10"
Twenty new e-mails every time I checked in
I'm getting props from my heroes
WalrusGuy referencing me in his videos
ElectricTheCheese remade my sh** in HD
He changed one of the hills from purple to green
Thirty videos in, y'all thought I lost my mind
Uploading the same Sonic video time after time
My favorite was the one where he was deaf and blind
Fifteen secs of nothing, the first of its kind
July '08, the greatest Poop ever made
"Uncensored Winnie the Pooh," my place can never be erased
By now I could already retire a legend
Dramatica had my name cemented
(Nowadays they list everyone and their mother
Back then it was just me and nine others)
But no, not yet, I wasn't ready to quit
I had more hits to make, like my edit of Will Smith
Featured on an episode of YouChew News
Even though, I repeat, that site is full of tools
Regular people were getting into me
f**ing Pitchfork featured "Wicker Man's Symphony"
Viacom tried to stop me, right
All because I violated copyright
My account was gone, three strikes in one day
Whatever, I didn't like those vowels anyway
I got a new account, and though I don't post as often
The quality of my content ain't never gon' soften, word
And you know what else?
[Hook]
[Outro]
("My father just shoved a co*k in my face.")
("s** my co*k; I was f**in'.")
("I'm ce-celibate!" "No you're not.")
("I'm masturbaaaatiiiiinnnngg.")
("His penis erupted, covering the surface of the whole earth.")
("Can that cum actually be flowing from my gorgeous dick?")
("That was my favorite record!")