As I was using a co*ktail umbrella to clean out the crepes from under my nails
Maureen dug in, "evidence of absence is not
Evidence of absinthe"
Which meant I should know the difference between silver and tin
Which I do, so I stood up to dish it right back
And predictably "crack" – the wooden garnish now impaled so I resat
"Coincidentally Chris, this is no coincidence"
That meant I should take the blame for every time I was late
So I began my list as I did every day
With a series of apologies that will never be seen
I crumpled it up and i threw it at Maureen and I said
"Next to your name there's a song you should know."
She read what I wrote:
"Calling All Men Between The Ages of 22 and 40, Calling All Men Between The Ages."
And with a sigh she began:
"Yes, if I recall the lyrics ran 'Oh please, ma**age my feet'"
And we fell back to sleep by 8:38