I don't remember the first time
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to recall
'Cause it feeds it, yeah it keeps it alive
There are specific things
That I have to do
Day to day just to keep it at bay
You wouldn't believe if you knew
(Oh no, this isn't real)
(Oh no, this isn't real)
Here's a little secret
Here's the best part
This is gonna take me
Right back to the start
If I can't hear it
If it's out of mind
Wait until it settles
Comes 'round a second time
I don't remember the first time
But I think I survived
Probably better not to try to recall
'Cause it feeds it, yeah it keeps it alive
(Oh no, yeah, this isn't real)
(Oh no, this isn't real)
Here's a little secret
Here's the best part
This is gonna take me
Right back to the start
If I can't hear it
If it's out of mind
Wait until it settles
Comes 'round a second time
I can feel it loom
Up into my head
It is in the room
Panicking in bed
I feel it coming on
Taking over view
Oh, please not tonight
There's nothing I can do
This is bigger than me
This is in my fear
This is pitiful
I just disappear
Swells up all around me
Swallowed up inside
Sell my senses if it
Would make this subside
I can barely handle
I can pa** the time
Staring through the curtains
Up into the sky
Where there is no
Depth perception
Keep preoccupied
Self-deception
Nobody recognises
It doesn't have a name
My brother is infected
He's acting just the same
Screaming like a siren
Up and down the hall
He just wants to stop it
He wants to end it all
I am just a child
I have nothing more
Than the basic functions
I am running from
I curl up and wallow
My distortion
Everything is
Disproportion
Suddenly I wake
All is back again
Everything is closer
Morning is the same
And I can't hear it
It's way out of mind
I will just forget this
Till the next time