I've screwed alot of boilers,
I've prodded loads of tarts,
Stabbed some open wounds
And I've split them all in half.
Knobbed a lot of women,
I've stuffed a load of birds,
Shagged a lot of dogs,
And I've pulled a load of skirt.
And there's been a load of who*es,
When I've used a bit of force,
But they all received the benefit,
Of s**ual intercourse.
When they make a lot of fuss,
It makes me feel sick,
They want a soaking gusset
And a more than ample d***.
Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***,
It hurts when I wa*k.
I've slammed a lot of crumpet,
But its doing them some good,
If they don't like it, they can lump it,
They've all been ugly tugs.
One b****, she had a flat head,
Put up quite a fight,
But I found a gob to place my knob,
And a place to put my pint.
I always end up shagging a really smelly bag,
And getting down to business when I just don't want to shag,
Sometimes I have to do it, lie back and think of Macc,
I'm using all this drinking time to service ugly crack.
Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***.
Doctor, I think I've got AIDS,
I get laid ten times a day,
I bang a lot of beaver, but let me be frank,
There's something up with my d***,
It hurts when I wa*k.