[EVELYN]
If we get married,
We'd have such a wedding
[PATRICK]
You will be carried
To your beheading
[EVENLYN]
It's so romantic,
We'll be in Page Six
[PATRICK]
Me in that rag,
Next to some trashy b**h
[EVELYN]
I'd like a huge diamond,
Won't settle for less
[PATRICK]
How many karats,
Or should I just guess?
If you only knew
[JEAN]
If I only knew
[EVELYN]
If we get married
[JEAN]
Would he be happy?
[PATRICK]
If you only knew
[EVELYN]
The band should be ethnic,
Perhaps a bit reggae
[PATRICK]
Maybe machine guns
Will make a good segue
[JEAN]
If he got married,
He might relax
[EVELYN]
I'd serve him dinner
[PATRICK]
I'd swing an ax
[JEAN]
It's that look in his eye
That I don't understand [EVELYN]
I'll burst into tears
When he takes my hand
[JEAN]
When he holds my hand
[PATRICK]
When I cut off her hand If you only knew
[JEAN]
If I only knew
[EVELYN]
If we get married
[JEAN]
Would I be happy?
[PATRICK]
If you only knew
[JEAN]
If I only knew
[EVELYN]
If we get married
[PATRICK]
If you only knew