[Hook]
I don't take rejection well, back to the drawing board
This really affects myself because I thought I scored
The pot's calling the kettle black, I should just concede
If I were to write a letter back, this is what it would read:
[Verse 1]
Firstly, let me explain to you guys why I'm upset
The interview went fine; references I obliged at the request
I went and shopped at Vineyard Vines--to the nines is how I dressed
Because I even Youtubed how to tie a tie around my neck
Yesterday I got a rejection letter, I suggest they better
Turn auto spell off--my f**ing name is misspelled
They should have double checked the header
Anyway, she starts off by saying "Dear Sur"
Like a sincere term
Yeah I agree, she's got a real nerve
I don't like the tone, bro, I can feel hers
She wrote that "we appreciate your interest but..."
Which is the simplest way for her to distance us
"We're looking for someone of a different crust
Not a Brown boy, but rather a Princeton trust
Fund baby," I am from eighties
Am I getting too old? I dunno maybe
I was just eighteen I recall vaguely
This is a market for "what have you done lately"?
Uh...Used no connections, man, I don't need no one's help
I'm no ventriloquist, dude, my résumé speaks for itself
But what in the the hell? Apparently, it wasn't speaking that well
And neither were my preppy pastel pleats and lapels
[Hook]
[Verse 2]
Was it 'cuz I was the blackest applicant, pardon--the beigest suitor
I want to know the Dealey like where Abe Zapruder taped the shooter
I f**ing read up on Forbes just how to gauge recruiters
Why the f** trust a lame computer as an agent trained to tutor?
I still cannot pay my student loans but I am standing tall
Even though I'm going through hardships like pirates' cannonballs
They screened a bunch of hack men, it's Royal Tenenbaums
And the Outlook s**s like Microsoft has been installed
But highlights from the thoughtful snub
Are "Thank you, Sur, for the follow up... "
and "This part of the job is tough.."
Putdowns change my bravado up
And my résumé won't stay on file
That's a lie an adult tells a small child
I refuse to believe you have large piles
But f** it--don't sweat her like argyle
I'm adept and clever at finding whatever's obtuse in the letter
Even before the "Best Regards" or the "adieu" from whomever
(Y-yeah) "We wish you success on your future endeavors"
Which translates to:
"Please excuse that we interview someone better" (BURN)
[Hook]