[Hook]:
Why say "I do"?
It's matrimony
Why say "I do"?
I'd rather go back to being lonely
[Verse 1]:
I ain't ever getting betrothed to a hoe while I'm clothed
In a tux as she struts down the aisle in a robe
Stands the minister, a sinister grin is bending the skin
On his face at the pulpit swimming in sin
Everyone stands for--
I pant, sweaty hands as she nears to my side
The benches are cramped and I fear every stride
That she makes, at this pace--she's stamping my pride
The villain is given away k**ing me
Feelings of unwillingness build and are distilling deep
All I can picture is "..in sickness and in health"
Every guy in here's a witness; I'm a victim and need help
This relationship: every week is a slalom..
The rings are presented and I shift from Smeagol to Gollum
We put each other's on, the priest would call our names:
"I now pronounce you Mr. Idiot..and Mrs. Ball-and-Chain"
Sur
[Hook]
[Refrain] x 4
Why say "I do"?
(Preacher)
You may now kiss the bride
(laughter)