[Chorus 1]
The Ottawa Bluesfest is run by inbreds
The Ottawa Bluesfest is run by inbreds
The Ottawa Bluesfest, they're coming to arrest me
Oh, no
[Verse 1]
You know the tickets ain't cheap and the weather ain't nice
And when my stage collapses, I don't think I'll survive that night
Cause they're emailing me about carrots and celery backstage
Every single night and it's driving me totally f**ing insane
Those inbreds who work for the promoter, man
He's got a pet cat who's his biggest fan
[Chorus 1]
[Verse 2]
Cause they're emailing me about directions to the stage
Twenty times a day and it's driving me totally f**ing insane
These inbreds who work for the promoter, man
A thunderstorm's coming and he's still wearing his Ray Bans
He tries to sleep but he's wide awake
Worrying about lawsuits and the noise complaints
He takes all your money and vacations in Rome
While Cheap Trick cancels and flies home
Yet they persecute me, the Ottawa Sun
The guy who does the interviews there is his mom and her brother's son
Yet he persecutes me in his tabloid reports
He's the Ottawa Sun's best little who*e
Cause they're emailing me about guest lists and such
Every single f**ing day as if I give a f**
[Chorus 1]
[Verse 3]
But the Toronto shows are run by really smart folks
And the Vancouver shows are also run by really smart folks
And the Victoria shows are run by super old folks
And I love the lobster rolls and the Canadian east coast
And I love maple donuts at Tim Hortons
And I love watching comedies with Seth Rogen
And I like Neil Peart, he's from St. Catharines
And I like the hookers on Jarvis Street, thank you for asking
I love George Chuvalo, he's from Toronto
And Donny Lalonde is from Canada, too, you know
And Arturo Gatti is from Montreal
But Alanis Morissette is from the worst Canadian city of all
[Chorus 2]
The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds
The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds
The city of Ottawa is coming to put me in jail
Oh, no
[Chorus 2]
The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds
The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds
The city of Ottawa is coming to arrest me
Oh, no
[Chorus 4] (x2)
The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds
The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds
The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds
Oh, no
[Bridge]
But I love Fredericton and I love Halifax
I'm gonna tell you once more that these are the facts
[Chorus 1]