[Chorus 1] The Ottawa Bluesfest is run by inbreds The Ottawa Bluesfest is run by inbreds The Ottawa Bluesfest, they're coming to arrest me Oh, no [Verse 1] You know the tickets ain't cheap and the weather ain't nice And when my stage collapses, I don't think I'll survive that night Cause they're emailing me about carrots and celery backstage Every single night and it's driving me totally f**ing insane Those inbreds who work for the promoter, man He's got a pet cat who's his biggest fan [Chorus 1] [Verse 2] Cause they're emailing me about directions to the stage Twenty times a day and it's driving me totally f**ing insane These inbreds who work for the promoter, man A thunderstorm's coming and he's still wearing his Ray Bans He tries to sleep but he's wide awake Worrying about lawsuits and the noise complaints He takes all your money and vacations in Rome While Cheap Trick cancels and flies home Yet they persecute me, the Ottawa Sun The guy who does the interviews there is his mom and her brother's son Yet he persecutes me in his tabloid reports He's the Ottawa Sun's best little who*e Cause they're emailing me about guest lists and such Every single f**ing day as if I give a f** [Chorus 1] [Verse 3] But the Toronto shows are run by really smart folks And the Vancouver shows are also run by really smart folks And the Victoria shows are run by super old folks And I love the lobster rolls and the Canadian east coast And I love maple donuts at Tim Hortons And I love watching comedies with Seth Rogen And I like Neil Peart, he's from St. Catharines And I like the hookers on Jarvis Street, thank you for asking I love George Chuvalo, he's from Toronto And Donny Lalonde is from Canada, too, you know And Arturo Gatti is from Montreal But Alanis Morissette is from the worst Canadian city of all [Chorus 2] The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds The city of Ottawa is coming to put me in jail Oh, no [Chorus 2] The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds The city of Ottawa is run by inbreds The city of Ottawa is coming to arrest me Oh, no [Chorus 4] (x2) The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds The Ottawa Sun is also run by inbreds Oh, no [Bridge] But I love Fredericton and I love Halifax I'm gonna tell you once more that these are the facts [Chorus 1]