[Verse 1]
I used to try and conform for acceptance
Then I broke free from the norm and put it all in a sentence
Desperate for answers I overlooked the questions
Feeling senseless a kid with manic depression
So distant, self confidence non-existent
Void in my soul I looked for something to fill it
No desire for living so I took a track and just k**ed
I wear my heart on my pistol which means I'll never conceal it
It's getting harder to breathe and sh** behind this mask
And harder to live peacefully with a spineless dad
f** all the times we had, you always came to me pissed off
Which makes sense seeing all that you do is just sh** talk
About how you f**ing hate me and I never used to say sh**
But today I see perfectly clear no lasik
My future rewritten because my life at stake at every minute
Now I'm convinced that it wasn't sh** to begin with
I'm sorry mama I know I only proved you right
About how eventually I'll just end up ruining my life
I wish things could've been different but it's just too late now
I'm saying my last goodbyes don't cry it's my time to be laid down
[Hook]
Tell all my siblings I'm sorry I should've been a better brother
Wipe the tears out mama's eyes and take good care of her
And tell all of my tios that they made me a grown man
And not to blame the fam for my actions that's just who I am
Nobody understands it's something that I have to do
I'm not looking for compa**ion I just hope I gave y'all a laugh or two
Some call my aggression a symptom of my repression
Or call me a sick kid and call this my cry for attention
I call it a second chance to start from scratch
Having regrets about who I am and not able to live the facts
The doctor saying I should look forward instead of back at the past
But my pineal gland implanting visions of how I'm living is bad
So I'm loading the clip hoping to get some beautiful bliss. (damn)
I can't believe I'm going thru with this sh**
It's a sickness, having the mind a misfit
Now its no pain or love, ima just taste the gun
Ima just die young like all the thugs do
Make sure u give my shorty kisses and hugs too
Because I love you and that's the truth
Don't worry when I come back through
Things will be better and It'll just be me and you forever. (gunshot)
[Hook]