Pirelli:
I am Adolfo Pirelli
Da kinf of da barbers
Da barber of da kings
E buon giorno, good day
I blow you a kiss!
And I, da so-famous Pirelli
I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a da nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss!
Who says this?!
Todd (spoken):
I do. I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have
opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir, and I say to you
that it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from
piss and ink. And furthermore—"Signor"—I have
serviced no kings, yet I wager I can shave a cheek with
ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank!
Pirelli (spoken):
You hear zis foolish man? No please, you will see
how he will regret his folly!
Todd (spoken):
Who's for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be
the judge?
Beadle (spoken):
Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner.
Pirelli:
Now, signorini, signori,
We mix-a da lather
But first-a you gather
Around, signorini, signori,
You looking a man
Who have had-a da glory
To shave-a da Pope!
Mr. Sweeney whoever—
I beg-a your pardon—'ll
Probably say it was only a cardinal—
Nope!
It was-a da Pope!
To shave-a da face,
To cut-a da hair,
Require da grace,
Require da flair,
For if-a you slip,
You nick-a da skin,
You clip-a da chin,
You rip-a da lip a bit
Beyond-a repair!
To shave-a da face
Or even a part
Widout it-a smart
Require da heart.
Not just-a da flash,
It take-a panache,
It take-a da pa**ion
For da art.
To shave-a da face,
To trim-a da beard,
To make-a da bristle
Clean like a whistle,
Dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
By God!
It take-a da sk**,
It take-a da brains,
It take-a da will
To take-a da pains
It take-a da pace,
It take-a da graaaaaace—
Beadle (spoken):
The winner is Todd.