Stephen Sondheim - The Contest lyrics

Pirelli: I am Adolfo Pirelli Da kinf of da barbers Da barber of da kings E buon giorno, good day I blow you a kiss! And I, da so-famous Pirelli I wish-a to know-a Who has-a da nerve-a to say My elixir is piss! Who says this?! Todd (spoken): I do. I am Mr. Sweeney Todd of Fleet Street. I have opened a bottle of Pirelli's elixir, and I say to you that it is nothing but an arrant fraud, concocted from piss and ink. And furthermore—"Signor"—I have serviced no kings, yet I wager I can shave a cheek with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank! Pirelli (spoken): You hear zis foolish man? No please, you will see how he will regret his folly! Todd (spoken): Who's for a free shave? Will Beadle Bamford be the judge? Beadle (spoken): Glad, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors. The fastest, smoothest shave is the winner. Pirelli: Now, signorini, signori, We mix-a da lather But first-a you gather Around, signorini, signori, You looking a man Who have had-a da glory To shave-a da Pope! Mr. Sweeney whoever— I beg-a your pardon—'ll Probably say it was only a cardinal— Nope! It was-a da Pope! To shave-a da face, To cut-a da hair, Require da grace, Require da flair, For if-a you slip, You nick-a da skin, You clip-a da chin, You rip-a da lip a bit Beyond-a repair! To shave-a da face Or even a part Widout it-a smart Require da heart. Not just-a da flash, It take-a panache, It take-a da pa**ion For da art. To shave-a da face, To trim-a da beard, To make-a da bristle Clean like a whistle, Dis is from early infancy Da talent give to me By God! It take-a da sk**, It take-a da brains, It take-a da will To take-a da pains It take-a da pace, It take-a da graaaaaace— Beadle (spoken): The winner is Todd.