[Brian:]
Princeton!
[Princeton:]
Yeah
[Brian:]
Listen, buddy, nobody's seen ya for two weeks
What's up with that?
[Princeton:]
I went to work for a temp agency, and they
Fired me for being too depressing on the phone
I maxed out my cards, I'm two months behind
In rent, I totally messed up my personal life
Oh, and Brian - I still haven't found my purpose!
[Brian:]
All right. Get off your a** and stop worrying!
Everyone's getting together to mess around the city today
[Princeton:]
Have fun!
[Brian:]
When I say everyone, that includes you!
There is life outside your apartment
I know it's hard to conceive
But there's life outside your apartment
And you're only gonna see it if you leave
There is cool sh** to do
But it can't come to you
And who knows, dude
You might even score!
There is life outside your apartment
But you gotta open the door!
[Princeton:]
No, thanks, I'm staying in!
[Brian:]
Don't tell me I gotta force you
[Princeton:]
Sorry!
[Brian:]
All right, everyone! He's resisting!
[All but Princeton:]
There is life outside[x3]
There is life outside your apartment!
There's a pigeon
Squashed on the street
[Christmas Eve:]
Ew
[Brian:]
There's a girl pa**ing by
[Nicky:]
No I think it's a guy
[All but Princeton:]
And a homeless man
Who only wants to
Buy something to eat!
Sorry, can't help you
We could go to the zoo!
[Trekkie Monster:]
Pick up girls at NYU!
[Brian:]
We could sit in the park smoking pot!
[Christmas Eve:]
Or not
[All but Princeton:]
There is life outside your apartment
[Princeton:]
Well, I guess I'll give it a shot
[All:]
There is life outside your apartment
I know
There is life outside your apartment
[Voice #1:]
I'm gonna jump!
[All:]
Don't do it!
[Voice #1:]
Okay
[All:]
There is cool sh** to do
But it can't come to you
So come on
[Voice #2:]
Get out of the way a**hole!
[Princeton:]
f** you!
[All:]
There is life outside your apartment
Oh, you never know
What's around the bend
You could win the lotto
Or make a friend
[Guys:]
Take her home to see your apartment!
[Lucy:]
Do you wanna feel special?
I can see that you do
Well, I can make you feel
Special
If you let me feel you
[Guys:]
She'll feel you!
[Lucy:]
Where's your pad?
[Princeton:]
Not too far
[Guys:]
We could call you a car
[Princeton:]
We'll be fine, thank you! See ya!
[Christmas Eve:]
Hope you don't get gonorrhea!
[All:]
There is life outside your apartment
[Princeton/Lucy:]
But now it's time to go home
[All:]
There is life outside your apartment
[Trekkie Monster:]
Me going home now
[Princeton/Lucy:]
It's time to go home!
[Trekkie Monster:]
That's where me gonna go!
[Lucy:]
I can make you feel special
[Trekkie Monster:]
That's where me gonna go!
[All:]
There is life outside your apartment
[Trekkie Monster:]
Me going home now
That's where me gonna go!
[Princeton/Lucy:]
But now it's time to go home
[Trekkie Monster:]
For p**n!