I came in really late that night
You looked at me begging for a fight
You could tell that all was not right
You sensed it on my clothes
I don't think that it was right
For you to just dive in and bite
It's not like you would understand
You spend all day at home
But, Handsome, you won't understand
We never talk, you just bite my hands
She's like my best friend and confidant
She's jumping when I'm at the front (?)
If you don't treat me better, boy
I'm bringin' her home
She greets me with great delight
Always jumping like dynamite
She never hides and she always gets(?)
She'll even sing with me
One time we did spend overnight
We went for walks in the evening light
Although she did sit on my lap
She didn't eat my snacks
But, Handsome, you won't understand
We never talk, you just bite my hands
She's like my best friend and confidant
She's jumping when I'm at the front (?)
If you don't treat me better, boy
I'm bringin' her home
Now Jackster, please just settle down
I love you, I don't want you to frown
You hop around in your mini-loft
And your fur is super soft
But there are some rules I have to set
No more racial epithets
No more stabbing all my friends
And please no more d**h threats
But, Handsome, you won't understand
We never talk, you just bite my hands
She's like my best friend and confidant
She's jumping when I'm at the front (?)
If you don't treat me better, boy
I'm bringin' her home