I came in really late that night You looked at me begging for a fight You could tell that all was not right You sensed it on my clothes I don't think that it was right For you to just dive in and bite It's not like you would understand You spend all day at home But, Handsome, you won't understand We never talk, you just bite my hands She's like my best friend and confidant She's jumping when I'm at the front (?) If you don't treat me better, boy I'm bringin' her home She greets me with great delight Always jumping like dynamite She never hides and she always gets(?) She'll even sing with me One time we did spend overnight We went for walks in the evening light Although she did sit on my lap She didn't eat my snacks But, Handsome, you won't understand We never talk, you just bite my hands She's like my best friend and confidant She's jumping when I'm at the front (?) If you don't treat me better, boy I'm bringin' her home Now Jackster, please just settle down I love you, I don't want you to frown You hop around in your mini-loft And your fur is super soft But there are some rules I have to set No more racial epithets No more stabbing all my friends And please no more d**h threats But, Handsome, you won't understand We never talk, you just bite my hands She's like my best friend and confidant She's jumping when I'm at the front (?) If you don't treat me better, boy I'm bringin' her home