Performed by Jennifer Doyle (Stepmother)
It's so hard to find a man
I really do not understand
Why if I'm given what I got
Not even horses want to trot with me
It's so hard to find a man
Any girl with half my looks
Would have no problem laying hooks
On any princes, kings or crooks, not me
I simply cannot find a man
It's so hard to do without
When you're a lady with such pa**ion
One can't always be in fashion
When you have to go out trashing too
It's not easy on my noives
When you know that you're a looker
Half a harda**, half a hooker
And you cannot land a schnook or two
And you cannot find a man
When I see my reflection
There's perfection oozing out of every pore
Oh, maintaining all this beauty is a duty
That I relish -- not a chore
But it's so hard to find a man
Where's that Romeo, the charmer
Dressed in underwear or armor
Who would change my lovely karma too?
Yet, I cannot find a man
Uh doodly-doo, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu, adieu
Adieu!