His name is Max and he's going to school
He doesn't wear a helmet 'cause he's so cool
He keeps his helmet on his bars
Darts out randomly in front of cars
Talks on his phone while rollin' down the street
He even has a girlfriend, isn't that sweet!?
He hits on chicks even if they're skanky
He smells his pits and they're hella stinky!
Okay, I just need to clarify one motherf**ing thing
Max is a bada** motherf**er
If you don't f**ing believe me
Then look at his motherf**ing helmet on his motherf**ing handlebars
Holy sh**, that guy is hardcore!
Oh yeah, and he swears a sh**load
And everyone knows that's f**ing awesome!
What's this? is this is a hardcore part? Yeah! Just like Max!
His name is Max!
He doesn't wear a helmet!
He keeps it on his handlebar!
He's failing all his cla**es!
And he's only ten?!
What? I thought he was like twenty-six
So you're telling me that I wrote this bada** song about a ten year old?!
You know what?
I don't care if he's ten, or fifty, or even a friggin' baby
He's still more hardcore than I'll ever be, and I'm thirty-two!
Wait, Max! Watch out for your helmet!
Max didn't wear his helmet
Now he has suffered a concussion
And he will be in a coma for the next three weeks
But it was worth it because
Helmets make you look really geeky.
Why do I sound like a bad rip-off
Of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?