[Round 1: Shuffle T]
This motherf**ing guy's nose is doubled up in size
The first time I saw it, it was not that bloody wide
On a scale of 1 to 10 I think it was something like a 5
And in the space of two months man it's punched above a 9
Really though, you have the biggest nose
I mean, you must pick it loads
I bet you can fit your toes in the hole
Stick a whole [?] bowl in it bro
Anytime he sniffs and blows the breeze makes it so fricking cold it feels as though winter's broke
If this bloke ever chose sniffing coke it would show
Bits of snow up his nose which it froze big as those Christmas clothes
That's too bad man, that thing is too huge
I haven't seen one that big, even on Youtube
If you got it pierced with a brand new loop dude
Kids on the street would use it to shoot hoops through
And on another subject, you named your label "Gang Records"
It's cute innit?
If there's an award for uninspiring names, you'd win it
Seriously, you need to take that sh** to improve limits
Cause G.A.N.G. stand for Get A New Gimmick
No, no, no, Liquid is a gangster
Of course he is, just think of all the scores he hits
The protection he offers the stores and sh**
The fact that he's been inside more women than the Jordan Shore abortionist
He tortures b**hes with a more morbid twist than the awful f**ing script of Saw 4 was fixed
How can you guys be ignoring this?
Nah, I'm just kidding you boring prick
He watched Godfather 1 and got obsessed with the world
And now he's got it all
Except for the furs, the money, the d**, the success or the girls
The fear, the style, the respect from the firms
The loyalties, royalties, the depth of his words
The ride, the pride, which he'll never deserve
The tears that cry when he's buried in church
But hey, he makes a mean irrelevant verse
He's so desperate to be a gangster I thought it was a piss take
I saw him take someone's daughter hostage and lock her in a big cage
He cornered the mother and said, "He's what you do to keep the kid safe
Go online right now and order ten copies of my mixtape."
He's a terrible gangsta
He's still learning some of it
You know how you're meant to put a horse's head on a bed?
He put a gerbil under it
He went to pay respects to The Godfather and he burped in front of him
He'd only rob a bank that had the word "s**m" in front of it
Nah, but your label is amazing and you guys have some sick plans
And I'm sure it'll be appreciated by...all of your six fans
But I've heard your music mate, every track you make is bland
So how are you a gangster when you can't even make a decent hit man?
You're a wannabe gangsta b**h and you just won't be defeating
I'll battle anyone, I give a f** who's in the scenery
I will slice your neck and then I'll punch quick repeatedly
Call me Michael Phelps cause I can cut through Liquid easily
[Round 2: Shuffle T]
Ahh, I wrote this sh** without the pen
Dissing my girlfriend's not something you wanna shout again
Because I've seen yours and I'd give her one...out of ten
I love my girlfriend. Don't ever bring up my girlfriend. Yes?
Liquid made his own label cause no one else heard the sound of his rapping
Nobody could be proud of the fact that they founded this f*ggot
So unfortunately he got turned down on account of these factors
And this is my impression of how that would happen
{Shuffle impersonates a record exec}
Ahhh, I got your CD
Ahhh, I expected something a little more complex
I mean I get the fact that you wanted to fill it with content
But you might wanna make a multi syllable song next?
Also, there's a track called, 'If Music Was Female'; that's not an original concept
I listened to the rest and I was far from pleased
I expected some heavy hip hop, real bars and schemes