Rayna M.
Missing You Like Winter
Missing you
followed the pattern of
winter leaving Tucson
You first leaving
was like a foreign, numbing cold
The snippy air surrounded everything
including my emotions
It was a bit like anesthesia
kept me cool
Had no touch with my own
thoughts and emotion
How could I?
I was still heavily under
YOU─ intoxicated, drugged.
Then I had that warm
sadness, very joyful sadness
the days were warming up, transitioning
away from the winter
The days would be
Warm
Hot even
But the nights would feel as frigid as ever
Because there was this big gaping absence of
warm where it had been present before
Nights felt like I could be susceptible
to freeze
I was left wholly alone
to deal with me & not─you
I felt the icy
I, Trying to battle my own conscious
The memories now
Made me painfully aware
Of the fact that
I was missing you
Nights now on would be
the hardest, darkest, emptiest
But I had summer to look forward to
That boiling heat
To drown
the cold of my own inner workings