You can read it in the paper
Or watch it on the news
Everybody's got the pre-apocalyptic blues
You better be ready when the sh** goes down
You better head on down to Costco
Get you a bucket full of rice and beans
A year's supply of 2-ply for your composting latrines
So you'll be ready when the sh** goes down
Don't hesitate don't procrastinate
Or you'll all be running scared
There ain't no second chances for brave or impaired
Did you know there's a couple of commies' hiding underneath your bed
And the zombies gonna eat up all the brains in your head
I got a Rambo knife with a compa**
And ballistic bug out bag
Got a AK47 'bout a hundred Dexter Mags
Gonna be ready when the sh** goes down
You know what I'm talking about
Isis and Al-Qaeda
About a billion red Chinese
You say you ain't worried and I say honky please
You better be ready when the sh** goes down
By my Jacuzzi there's an Uzi and an RPG
Got a stinger missile mounted on my SUV
They won't get to me no matter who they are
I got land mines buried all over my yard
'Cause I read it in the paper
I watched it on the news
And now I've got the pre-apocalyptic blues
I'm gonna be ready when the sh** goes down
Well you be ready when the sh** goes down