[Spoken: He's from Missouri]
[Chorus]
I said welcome to the midwest
We got a lot more than insects and incest
C'mon, welcome to the mid coast
Home of the pig roast
Come and get a big dose
I said welcome to the midwest
We got a lot more than insects and incest
Yo it's Missouri baby hurry back
Where you ain't sh** if y'ain't k**in' at least a thirty pack
Let me try an tell 'em a little bout where I'm comin' from
Missouri baby where everyone got a couple guns
Conflicted surrounded by religious bigots
A hip kid from the land of the ticks and the crickets
They say we five years behind from both coasts
I say it's pro'ly more like ten for most folks
Half of my neighbors couldn't even pa** fourth grade
But everybody's a scientist with a pork steak
We're watchin W.W.F. as foreplay
And family reunion's another word for court date
The Show-Me homie but they can't even show me teeth
I'm from where mothaf**ers really feelin' Toby Keith
Where the dudes hate sleeves, cut em off, look tough
As for the jeans cut those right off under ya' nuts
It's trucks and bolts, guns and bows, bucks an does
And outside of that what's to know, c'mon
[Chorus]
It's the home of the cliché, corn fed beef cake
Millionaire cheapskate, two ton V8
Hot as hell heat wave, trailer park three way
Course that's after drinkin the Jack til you can't see straight (Missouri)
This'll make the last couple teeth rattle a bit
Sicker than a old fat chick with a tat' on her tit
Imagine it kids, I'm surrounded by cattle and sh**
Havin' a hard time findin' cats I'm compatible with
We can't get along, doggone ridiculous
Everybody's liquored up tryna have the biggest truck
Got to adapt quick, learn how to smell trouble
And never trust the dude rockin' the biggest belt buckle
With the rednecks, hillbillies, the hicks, and the hoosiers
The Jim Beam, John Deere, and Dale Jr
You heard a lot of sh** but half of it's rumors
Ya see we still all that and a bag of manure, c'mon
[Chorus]