[Verse 1]
Im sittin in this ambulance
Pickin on the candy man
I wanna be a family man and strictly stick to ambiens
Damn
I dont wanna be alone
And i dont need the weed or coke
I know it helps and keeps me going
Yo and though it helps me cope
I know it isnt healthy so
Espessially when i mix it with some vodka, a nos and a monster
I constantly ponder
I wish we were back on the same team
Sometimes i look back and i day dream
And lately how happy it makes me is actually amazing
My friends dont get it, they tellin me im stupid
I see you as a blessing and you seeing me as useless
The truth is its hard for me to do this
Im losing my mind for this rude chick
Im sick of music
Dont go and take my words personal
Because some of the sh** i say is cause im hurtin yo
I try to channel my anger, explode on a track
And the thing thats mostly holding me back is the fact that i always go and over react
But i can't be with anybody else, ive tried
Because i always think of you and then i melt inside
And its the hardest thing to do because i felt i died
My chest was hurt
It was stupid as if using you for s** at first
But i wasn't, we was f**ing but when stress occured
It had made you way more than just a flirt
And i may have changed around you
But ill never be the same without you
I didn't have a clue how to express myself
So i stayed away for days and days, i guess it helped
Yes the method to my madness is seperate from the sadness
I stepped into the blackness
And i ain't coming back b**h
Yeah
This doesnt justify the acts that i commit
But f**, in my defense, im 16 and equipped with a mind of sins
U been different than her, youre different than all
But this vision occurred and its pissing me off
Girl id give you my all if i had you back
And i told you up front that I had your back
N-no matter what
Ive had it but my heart is bruised and battered bruh
Its hard to move, im outta luck
So out of love im boutta cut ties
Whats life if you ain't got enough pride
You were right, i shouldve f**ing listened to you
And when i thought that you were pregnant i had wished it was true
And between me and you
Im hypicritical, controling, likely im selfish
But your the only f**in girl that i see myself with
And hopefully
In time find terms where we both agree
But i dont believe
That is over i know that theres hope for me
People ask if im done with the ark beef, hardly
f** one love this is heart beats part 3
I find myself at night just hoping you
Be with me again but dreams dont come true
[Verse 2]
A year ago you changed my life, now devin he is dying
But vegas is untouchable, youll never see the signs
Im feelin f**in guilty, heard that jealousy's a crime
And if thats the case, i have to say you never leave my mind
My karmas comin back to me, the devil needed time
Im satan in an angel so its hell for me inside
Ah
To be honest i dont even f**in pray anymore
Cause my prayers werent answered, i wait in a storm
Forreal and its bad cause i feel like im trapped
I keep droppin the pen, i do not wanna move
This is not who i am, this is not what i do
Im a kid, aggressive and obsessed who can't explain moods
And im just discovering that pain will change you
The f** are you supposed to do when losing what means most to you?
It ain't just pain, its more than that
I wrote this cause im torn in half
And sorta gettin bored of rap
I dont f**in need it bruh
My staminas decreasing tryna keep up with the media
Me and vegas need a day to straighten all our breathing up
All this rapping has a pattern, asthmas what is keepin us
From moving forward you would it if you tried to reach for trust
But y'all are f**ing snakes and ain't gon ever whin this beef with us
Vegas is a product of my past pain, half sane
If i could turn back time I probably wouldn't change a damn thang
But then again i might to make it right with angelina
Its like im fightig man to keep her
In my life, i swear i need her
Preach my life through pairs of speakers
Leave me out beside your sneakers
Cause im trash, just ask my teachers
Im a menace to society, ain't got no reason speaking
And to all of yall thats trying me, ill leave you on the beaches
You just talk behind the bleachers