1) I read about the ark, but wonder ‘bout where Noah kept the fish in
2) God must own a tempur-pedic, that's why Christ has seldom risen
3) God was bored so Abraham beheld a vision he should k** his children then he almost k**ed him but then God was like I'm kidding
4) God sure asks a lot for someone who's supreme and self-sufficient
5) I bet Christ's apostles really were a group of twelve magicians
6) If God is good then why do kids have cancer cell division?
Truthfully, I'm more pissed off about my plasma television
that I prayed for but I never got
7) If organized religion really wants to solve conditions
they should stop peddling scripture, trade the bishops for physicians
Melt the steeples into stethoscopes, swap sermons for some surgeons and instead should sell prescriptions
8) I wish Christ was still alive to turn my water into Zinfandel
9) I'm confused why ISIS slaughters guiltless infidels
10) I wonder if when God is sent Fidel
He would toss him into hell or place the hard decisions
in his closet on a shelf
11) The Fall of Adam s**s and all as God has taught us very well
If God's almighty why could not he just have caught him as he fell?
12) If I could meet the Lord incarnate I'd award him with a ribbon
not as savior, but as heaven's finest warden of a prison
13) If I were there when Gutenberg had beta printed newly minted bibles
I'd say wait a minute, you should shorten them a smidgen,
And for nonbelievers, make sure God's coordinates were given
14) I wonder if you sin but pray it off, if all of it's forgiven
15) I feel like God knew Eve would take it if he called the fruit forbidden
But just plays it off, like Jesus, dude, admit it, you're omniscient
16) If Allah were on twitter he would catch some major flack
17) I like to think if you retweeted, he would pat you on the back
18) I like to think he outlawed bacon due to saturated fat
19) I like to think he too's confused about the SNAFU in Iraq,
20) I like to think that up in Eden there's a patch of purple gra**
Where every innocent civilian gets a statue and a plaque
21) The Palestine-Israeli conflict's like the longest game of tag
and with the bombers, it's the wrongest game of capturing the flag
22) I wonder if the lord is cross that I do not believe in he
but more importantly, I wonder if the lord believes in me