Went down to the kitchen to get myself a knife
It's not to bu*ter my bread, oh no it's for my wife
The other day I saw her banging my neighbour Mitch
I don't like my wife, 'cause she's a stupid b**h
Saw her banging the postman
Saw her doing the milkman too
Saw her play with the gardeners nozzle
Then she did the construction crew
Went to the garden shed to get my pruning sheers
I don't have a hedge problem I'm gonna cut off her ears
I've seen her without me having way too much fun
When I get home tonight, I'm not gonna say I love you hun
Saw her banging Winnie the Pooh
Whilst fondling Tigger too
She had a threesome with Aladdin
And his stupid monkey Abu
Saw her banging the postman
Saw her doing the milkman too
Saw her play with the gardeners nozzle
Then she did the construction crew