Hey, Dad!
Been floating down the river
To the place you retired to
Away from the women who despise you
I've been sad, 'cause all my friends resent me
But I've got a plan for a miracle
I'll sh** it out and put it on the table
Dear Son
Should I be a proud one?
I saw what you said on the telly
You made your mother sound so silly
How is my offspring so pretentious
But your art is lazy, trite and schlocky
I should have signed you up for hockey