[Verse 1]
European mutt on a Sysiphean bucking bronco
Translated Murakami into the original tongue of Squanto
Pronto is when I need you to stop desiring anything
The penny brings many things and Buddha knows plenty kings
Like that stuff, but I say melt the infernal crowns
The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao
Saussurean linguistic signs all in my journal, wow
Turn that scowl upside down maybe watch some George Carlin
Or go get a Thai ma**age and feel even more starlit
I'm in a bar with Gift of Gab and Mira Gonzalez
Drinking Oatmeal Stout discussing intergalactic starships
I'm in Tuskaloosa eating hummus and wanton soup
On the roof of a chicken coop protesting factory farming
You're not actually charming if you enjoy dismantling harmless
Forest creatures, one time as a kid I shot a small bird for no reason
I still feel bad about that, the mind has like seasons
And some of those seasons are sorta demented and sadistic
If you gotta hurt someone go play GTA or get sado-masochistic
In a consensual coitus session with another naked human
We're all just naked humans, wow I'm breaking through it
Breaking through the tendency to resent my out-groups, that is
Still can't fathom why Internet people become elaborate catfish
Like be yourself, coming from the dude who dons alter-egos
I'm eating a maraschino cherry feeling weird like Vaseline scones
Composed this rascally poem on the back of the US constitution
Like Nick Cage I seem to be of an enigmatic constitution
Convoluted city streets make me pine for John Muir's mountain tops
One time had a nightmare I was drowning in a sea of growling cops
I'm watching Fox and the Hound with 2Pac, Doc Oc, and John Locke
Feeling like Disney movies' lack of moral ambiguity was damaging
Juxtapose suit-clad managers with several squirrels scampering
Luxury and pampering are probably really hampering
Your quest for Nirvana, so maybe go be a Chris McCandless
If I could I'd make John Lennon's a**a**in eat a blister sandwich
Then kiss some syphillis and live for eternity with no bandwidth
Because, like, man, you murdered the dude who sang live as one
I don't believe in good and bad people but holy f**
You must have been about as aware as a protozoan
Like find an ounce of compa**ion, man, f** it I'm zoning
Out hitting a Pax watching 2001: A Space Odyssey
Thinking about KOOL AD calling Das Racist a late great race oddity
That was a humorous, clever, and accurate statement
See me with Young Frankenstein playing Jenga in Dracula's basement
We're all just flatulent apes and that's cool like the ex-planet Pluto
But power and money corrupt us, you know like that one dude Tuco
Salamanca, I think I'm a salamander in a melodrama
Because life imitates art, Oscar Wilde thought so, hella commas
Of the proverbial variety are recommended in this life thing
By that I mean pauses, need space and time, like this life thing
I might bring some cream cheese bars to the potluck dinner
Got love for Master Splinter and anyone who doesn't feel like a winner
The secret is that this sh** was never a competition
They just made us think so so we would be nice productive kittens
I'm such a frickin' goofball playing fooseball in a onesy
Against Doug funny and gumbi even though I have a bum knee
Pluck me like a gooseberry and savor the crazy flavor
Or pluck me like a harpstring and wave with the zany cadence
Or pluck me like book from shelf and gaze at the wavy pages
Me I'm mating with ancient texts like the ... Vedantic scriptures
They were cool long before Socrates the didactic trickster
So I guess by modern standards I'm the most anachronistic hipster
But like Kierkegaard said "when you label me, you negate me"
So don't call me anything just paint me a shade of paisley
Live in an art gallery and call it spry performance art
I used to tell my mom everything and she'd say I had an enormous heart
But right now I'm watching a Smurfs marathon eating foreign tarts
Like hoddeok, that's a delicious Korean pastry
If you're feeling angsty I suggest you go contemplate a Banksy
Original, then maybe go read the Dharma Bums
Google ad technology is artificial karma son
Riff Raff on the radio at the bat mitzvah
Picture me rolling rice paper to make scrumptious spring rolls
And speaking odd slang that sounds to adults like dumbsh** lingo
I'm on Uran*s playing plinko with John Cage and Pink though
Thinking too big to fail nah, didn't Titanic sink bro?