[Busdriver]
All my n***as with Vulcan ears
Are auctioneers for these tape deck airlifts
While these thuggy rugby playing Huggy bears
Rally for same-s** marriage
[Open Mike Eagle]
They're having children out of wedlock after latex tearing
Leaving their honorable families disgraced
Embarra**ed
[Busdriver]
They rap in Gaelic hair care tips and run sh** like a legless heiress
Wait, what the f** am I saying?
[Open Mike Eagle]
The pen's pregnant
It's waddling with its ankles swollen
About to give birth to what should have been the Bangles' opus
It's a bouquet full of faded roses
But tighter than Lederhosen
When German tanks invaded Poland
[Busdriver]
But not as tight as the acceptance speech
That I gave the thankful mole men
As I'm crowned king
I'm Yao Ming under the turntable molding
I've got the s**iest job
Espionage and fandangled coding
As I lie to millions like Dan Rather
[Open Mike Eagle]
Well, f** it
I'll be a dance rapper
Fastening my pants backwards
Rambling about Franz Ferdinand and Franz Kafka
For spittin' it nice
I'll give you advice like Ann Landers
[Busdriver]
And from me you shall be handed lanyards
Before you're picked clean
Your haircut's 16 when you're obviously 36
Gravy drips on your pancreas in my serving dish
Cause I don't approve bookings of Sexual Chocolate's front man
I crush his glands to the size of a Hershey's kiss
In a cursing fit
[Open Mike Eagle]
We get down like treasure hunters unearthing sh**
Nasty as Heather Hunter's leather covered nursing tits
Writing with feathers from buzzards on weathered rubber
And these cheddar lovers s**
Cause they've yet to discover Thirsty Fish
[Busdriver]
Mother f' your puckered pecker when you're dressed like Sgt. Pepper
[Open Mike Eagle]
This larkish feather writes the largest letters on the parchment ever
[Busdriver]
Cut the cheddar stutter-stepper and I'll glue your stuff together
[Open Mike Eagle]
Stuffin' letters cussin' cause I like your mother's muffins better
[Busdriver]
See you've been outted by the unexcitable diploma earner
Sojourner Truth's afterbirth hanging off of some Chola's cursor click
[Open Mike Eagle]
We stick together like frozen burgers
The sh** we spit is original as the oldest
Werther's bu*terscotch confection
[Outro: Busdriver]
Man these fools can't even rap half as tight
I be going to their funerals blowing bagpipes, aha
Fool, I'm twice as dope, I'm longer than an isotopes half-life
Get it, cause I'm long, I'm long, I'm long
Either my shlong, or my career, ugh
Yea, I'm a cypher eradicator, No I'm not
Too old for that sh**, too old for that sh**
So I got to go on with it, rapping...