Open Mike Eagle - Original Butterscotch Confection lyrics

[Busdriver] All my n***as with Vulcan ears Are auctioneers for these tape deck airlifts While these thuggy rugby playing Huggy bears Rally for same-s** marriage [Open Mike Eagle] They're having children out of wedlock after latex tearing Leaving their honorable families disgraced Embarra**ed [Busdriver] They rap in Gaelic hair care tips and run sh** like a legless heiress Wait, what the f** am I saying? [Open Mike Eagle] The pen's pregnant It's waddling with its ankles swollen About to give birth to what should have been the Bangles' opus It's a bouquet full of faded roses But tighter than Lederhosen When German tanks invaded Poland [Busdriver] But not as tight as the acceptance speech That I gave the thankful mole men As I'm crowned king I'm Yao Ming under the turntable molding I've got the s**iest job Espionage and fandangled coding As I lie to millions like Dan Rather [Open Mike Eagle] Well, f** it I'll be a dance rapper Fastening my pants backwards Rambling about Franz Ferdinand and Franz Kafka For spittin' it nice I'll give you advice like Ann Landers [Busdriver] And from me you shall be handed lanyards Before you're picked clean Your haircut's 16 when you're obviously 36 Gravy drips on your pancreas in my serving dish Cause I don't approve bookings of Sexual Chocolate's front man I crush his glands to the size of a Hershey's kiss In a cursing fit [Open Mike Eagle] We get down like treasure hunters unearthing sh** Nasty as Heather Hunter's leather covered nursing tits Writing with feathers from buzzards on weathered rubber And these cheddar lovers s** Cause they've yet to discover Thirsty Fish [Busdriver] Mother f' your puckered pecker when you're dressed like Sgt. Pepper [Open Mike Eagle] This larkish feather writes the largest letters on the parchment ever [Busdriver] Cut the cheddar stutter-stepper and I'll glue your stuff together [Open Mike Eagle] Stuffin' letters cussin' cause I like your mother's muffins better [Busdriver] See you've been outted by the unexcitable diploma earner Sojourner Truth's afterbirth hanging off of some Chola's cursor click [Open Mike Eagle] We stick together like frozen burgers The sh** we spit is original as the oldest Werther's bu*terscotch confection [Outro: Busdriver] Man these fools can't even rap half as tight I be going to their funerals blowing bagpipes, aha Fool, I'm twice as dope, I'm longer than an isotopes half-life Get it, cause I'm long, I'm long, I'm long Either my shlong, or my career, ugh Yea, I'm a cypher eradicator, No I'm not Too old for that sh**, too old for that sh** So I got to go on with it, rapping...