[Verse 1]
Started life as a Christian
I was enticed by religion
To spark a spiritual life that was missing
As an acolyte
A white Jesus had me actin' right
Chasing the thoughts of an after life
So I attended service like clockwork
Sunday's best
And socks from the top drawer
But Jesus wasn't the reason for my Oxfords
I mostly went for this girl I had the hots for
[Verse 2]
Whenever I was kinda bored
Thoughts of the girl I adored ignite a war
Haunted by the angry white Jesus by the door
Natural impulses I strive to ignore
I was divided to the core
The age-old battle
Between human anatomy vs. science of the Lord
I came real close to leaving my burdens by the door
Until I asked the preacher man about the dinosaurs
[Hook: Jefferson DeJesus]
It seems if we lie
Will we lay there beside it?
They say that it's right
But it doesn't seem righteous
[Verse 3: Serengeti]
She didn't really wanna get Botox really
She rather vowed against it
But opportunity arose
It would increase her chances to get this gig
Her manager said
"I'm not saying anything
But we could really use it right now
Besides what's the big deal?
Everybody does it
We need the work
And as I face it
Everybody hires once
We gotta play the game
We're married to a different f**in' custom
A pioneer of something new?
That's a lotta work to do
I personally I don't think that you got it in you
To champion a new cause
You look really good in draws
Sometimes you gotta follow f**in' laws and sh**"
[Bridge: Jefferson DeJesus]
They rival the stars
And they all fight with lightning
We sit by the fire
And conspire here in silence
[Hook]