[Verse 1] Started life as a Christian I was enticed by religion To spark a spiritual life that was missing As an acolyte A white Jesus had me actin' right Chasing the thoughts of an after life So I attended service like clockwork Sunday's best And socks from the top drawer But Jesus wasn't the reason for my Oxfords I mostly went for this girl I had the hots for [Verse 2] Whenever I was kinda bored Thoughts of the girl I adored ignite a war Haunted by the angry white Jesus by the door Natural impulses I strive to ignore I was divided to the core The age-old battle Between human anatomy vs. science of the Lord I came real close to leaving my burdens by the door Until I asked the preacher man about the dinosaurs [Hook: Jefferson DeJesus] It seems if we lie Will we lay there beside it? They say that it's right But it doesn't seem righteous [Verse 3: Serengeti] She didn't really wanna get Botox really She rather vowed against it But opportunity arose It would increase her chances to get this gig Her manager said "I'm not saying anything But we could really use it right now Besides what's the big deal? Everybody does it We need the work And as I face it Everybody hires once We gotta play the game We're married to a different f**in' custom A pioneer of something new? That's a lotta work to do I personally I don't think that you got it in you To champion a new cause You look really good in draws Sometimes you gotta follow f**in' laws and sh**" [Bridge: Jefferson DeJesus] They rival the stars And they all fight with lightning We sit by the fire And conspire here in silence [Hook]