William Shakespeare
Come bite my thumb, I hope you know the stakes
I'll put a slug between your shoulder blades
Then ask what light yonder poser breaks
I hath been iambic on that a**, ye ba*tard, my rhymes are cla**ic
Your crap is drafted by a kindergartener high on acid, ye hoebag
You're an old white Soulja Boy with no swag and no gonads
Egads, it's so sad and to top it off, you're not a doctor
I've never seen a softer author, you crook, you
I bet you wrote the Twilight books, too
Cat in the Hat
I would not, could not on a boat
Read any of the boring a** plays you wrote
Even Horton doesn't want to hear you
And Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
You bore people to d**h
You leave a cla**room looking like the end of MacBeth
I entertain a child of any age
You gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
How you gonna battle with the Cat in the Hat?
Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
You think your ruffled neck a** gonna rap to that?
I got a best selling book about me coming back
Shakespeare
I'm switching up my style like The Beatles with my pieces
Each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
You're pathetically predictable, you think your new book
Might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures?
The Bard is in the building, it's a castle, I'm a boss
I bet I'm Parliament, I'm positive, I'm k**ing it
I'm iller than the plague, I never caught or cholera
A baller baller on some cricket bowler business
While you're sitting in the bleachers
Cat in the hat
You rap fast, you do, yes, you rap fast it's true
But let's see how you rap versus things one and two
Things One and Two
Oh, oh, no, no, we'll smash you globe
Yo, you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
You can take your fancy words and send 'em back home to your mama
Break our foot off in your a** with our feetie pajamas
Man, we'll cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
We'll break offa your legs, make no mistake, we in a rage
All does not end well when we bust out our cage
Your getting upstaged, Bill, yo, you just got played