[Intro]
-Can I ask you a question?
-Sure
-How does one become a janitor?
-You want to be a janitor?
-No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor
[Verse 1]
Sin, sin, sin, I'll stick a dil*o in
While i'm hiding in the Alva High School garbage bins
I'm the janitor now b**h, I f**ing clean up
So f**ing choke up, and f**ing blow nuts (s*ut!)
I sweep the f**ing halls, maybe looking for some goodies
But the only thing I found today was a needle and some hoodies
I get paid fifty cents an hour
A klondike bar, and a little bit of power
It ain't easy being straight up G
Staying after cla** to clean up Dales pee
I didn't choose the retard life, b**h, it chose me
I get forced to work and get forced to clean
But if Donald Trump is president than maybe it is evident
That he will make the retard life more relevant
Don't f**ing cry b**h, we f**ing need it
Cleaning up dried sh** makes me f**ing sea sick
[Hook] x2
Janitor b**h, I'm the mother f**ing janitor
Finding condoms all over the perimeter
Janitor b**h, I said I'm the mother f**ing janitor
Finding s*uts prom night babies in the canisters
[Verse 2]
I open the doors, I'm sweeping the floors
I'm finding pregnancy tests from all the known who*es
And after the ma**es I go back to cla**
And I'm stabbing those tests up in they fat a**es
Always backwards, thinking, thinking backwards lord oh lordy
I'm sipping on a blunt, and I'm puffing on a forty-orty
Oh, me? What about me?
I'm just humble enough to not bust a nut
On the mother f**ing floor that I already cleaned up
And I'm getting kind of pissed
Because the b**hes want to diss
And I just want a f**ing kiss
So please just come and s** my dick
It's getting really late and I want to f**ing hate
So before I masturbate, I guess I'll take you on a date b**h!
Yeah...
I'm scrubbing toilets, adding extra love
Cum stains on a b**h, like a f**ing turtle dove
[Hook] x2
Janitor b**h, I'm the mother f**ing janitor
Finding condoms all over the perimeter
Janitor b**h, I said I'm the mother f**ing janitor
Finding s*uts prom night babies in the canisters
[Verse 3]
Mean ol', mean old me
Cleaning off desks, like a straight up G
While I'm searching for thongs in the girls locker room
Humming Minecraft songs, and I'm pushing a broom
And, maybe feeling lucky, f**ing vibe be f**ing f**y
k**ing b**hes like I'm Chucky, ten bucks for some s**y s**y
If you f** me honey bunny, you may leave with runny nose
Cause I'm donkey punching b**hes tightening up their a**holes
I'll take a vacuum to the auditorium
Sweeping this sh** like a Porsche Deloreon
I'm nothing but k**ing time, so when I k** this time
You can be my dime
And you can be the only one that I will always flip heads up
So when the tails are down, broom handle up the (psych!)
And a little bit of who-how
Clean your p**y with some Windex like the mother f**ing exile
Take six shots straight to the head
Endangering lives from special Ed
I feel fine, f** you, I'm lousy
Sitting in the janitors closet crying
[Outro: Outtake]
Sin, sin, sin, I'll stick a dil*o in
While I'm hiding in the Alva High School garbage bins
(bacon bacon bacon) x6
Don't... don't tell Dale... but... I f**ed his mom...