Today is the day you get hit with some reality
You need to learn how real people live
This is the story
(This is the story)
I got fourteen chairs to lean back in
Three recliners for straight relaxing
And two different beds to go to sleep
No Mattress Factory, kid, I ain't cheap
I got the California King with the Pillowtop
10 PM, you see the pillows drop
Why're you in my bedroom, are you Dick Cheney?
Get out
Chorus:
I don't do sh**
(I don't do sh**)
I don't do sh**
(I don't do sh**)
I don't do sh**, that's my decision
Not doing sh** is like my religion
Look to the east five times a day
And if I'm doing sh**, then I put it away
Oh I should come to the club and get crazy?
I'm the Saddam of being lazy
And besides, I can drink beer at home
I do it every afternoon
(Chorus)
I wanna give a shout-out to sitting down
Give a shout-out to laying down
Wanna give a shout-out to typing stuff into Google
Wanna give a shout-out to Cesar Milan
For letting me imagine what it would be like if I trained my dog
I wanna give a shout-out to waking up late
(Waking up late)
Don't hate
(Don't hate)
(The TV is on and it's a motherf**ing marathon)
My day is over, man
(My day is over, man)
(I'm going to be right here because I don't do sh**)
(I don't do sh**)
(I don't do sh**)
(The TV is on and it's a motherf**ing marathon)