There's just one job in my household
That never ever gets done
Not even if I start at first light of day
Until the setting of the sun
I wash and scrub and iron and fold
My life away
There's a monster that lives in my back room
And never ever goes away. It's...
The laundry, the laundry, I'm slowly going insane
If I see another piece of laundry
I'm gonna stuff it down the drain
It has sixteen arms and sixteen legs
And eight pairs of socks that don't match
It eats all the bu*tons and the underwear
And every carefully sewed-on patch
And if I dare to overload it protests with BURPS and GROWLS
And then in the quiet of the middle of the night
It grows green slime upon my towels
The laundry, the laundry, I'm doing it in my dreams
If I see another load of laundry
I know I'm gonna scream!
But last night I thought of a wonderful way
To dispel all my fears
Put half of the laundry in the freezer
It keeps for 100 years
Then send all your children out to play
To put holes in their knees and socks
Then the rest of the luandry just disappears
Into the mending box
The laundry, the laundry, something must be wrong
'Cause I'm so busy doing laundry
I can't find time to write a song
The laundry, the laundry, I'm slowly going insane
If I see another load of laundry
I'm gonna stuff it down the drain!