Charlotte Diamond - The Laundry lyrics

There's just one job in my household That never ever gets done Not even if I start at first light of day Until the setting of the sun I wash and scrub and iron and fold My life away There's a monster that lives in my back room And never ever goes away. It's... The laundry, the laundry, I'm slowly going insane If I see another piece of laundry I'm gonna stuff it down the drain It has sixteen arms and sixteen legs And eight pairs of socks that don't match It eats all the bu*tons and the underwear And every carefully sewed-on patch And if I dare to overload it protests with BURPS and GROWLS And then in the quiet of the middle of the night It grows green slime upon my towels The laundry, the laundry, I'm doing it in my dreams If I see another load of laundry I know I'm gonna scream! But last night I thought of a wonderful way To dispel all my fears Put half of the laundry in the freezer It keeps for 100 years Then send all your children out to play To put holes in their knees and socks Then the rest of the luandry just disappears Into the mending box The laundry, the laundry, something must be wrong 'Cause I'm so busy doing laundry I can't find time to write a song The laundry, the laundry, I'm slowly going insane If I see another load of laundry I'm gonna stuff it down the drain!