thought it would be ok if i made a list of the things i do on a regular basis,
like i stay in my room for a resonable amount of time. then go jogging,
have vegetables for dinner or something. now that i look at the list i see that
the only time i get to talk with people is when i go to the store and buy the groceries.
'give me two bananas, two apples', i look for change so that the man behind the register
feels happy.
when i get home i think about what i said at the store. leave vegetables at the table.
i go to my room, change my clothes for something more comfortable like sports clothes,
lakai shoes the green ones. i go outside again and look at people like i own this clothes
but in reality i don't.
i run or play in the court. constantly thinking about the vegetables i eat
and how tired i am of having those things for dinner. hoping i don't run into
any of my exes. then usualy someones aproaches and ask me for the basquetball,
they make 2-3 shots and i see them faces feeling dissapointment and inmediately say
'haven't play in a while'.
they keep trying but i tell them i went there because i wanted to run-move not
stand there waiting for my body to freeze.
i don't know.
everything seems so boring.
even if i had someone to share this with.
what's the porpuse of things if sharing things with someone's not enough.