Your last name's Weinstein and your first name's Jay
You're a food critic and you're f**ing gay
You have more hair on your face than you have on your head
Pretty soon you'll have a.i.d.s. and you'll be f**ing dead
[Chorus]
You are a food critic [x4]
You're old enough—to have bought "Let It Be" when it was new
You're bald enough—to blind a bird you f**ing j**
You're gay enough—to go out with Liberace
You're gay enough—you f**ing f*g
I'm 22, you're 33, and you go to school with me
Jay Weinstein is a gay bald j** with a beard