If i could go on a date with any guy
I think it would be david wright
He is my favorite baseball player and i like the way he smiles
Cuz i'm feeling like i should start anew
And david wright is only twenty-two
Which puts him well within my range
And makes it feasible that we could date
I could cheer for him from field box seats
Or we could just walk around the streets
And go on dates at restaurants
And he could sign little kids' baseballs
He seems like such a stand-up guy
Which is good because lately i've been wondering why
I seem to be a magnet
For every scumbag loser on the planet
I'm really tired of faking stomach aches
To get out of all these really bad dates
So i think that the solution without question is david wright
I guess that is should write him a letter
And include all my thoughts on us being together
But he will probably throw it out
And go out a date with mariah carey
And i'll be stuck still at the same old bar
And to my dreams of love i'll say au revoir
And i will sit there drunk
Watching david wright play third on the TV screen
And after i finish my fifteenth drink
And i am wallowing on the brink
Of misery and sorrow
My friends will Catch me a cab and send me home
And i will dream of the world series
And david wright and other theories
That will help me find love and companionship
With other nice guys in 2005