If i could go on a date with any guy I think it would be david wright He is my favorite baseball player and i like the way he smiles Cuz i'm feeling like i should start anew And david wright is only twenty-two Which puts him well within my range And makes it feasible that we could date I could cheer for him from field box seats Or we could just walk around the streets And go on dates at restaurants And he could sign little kids' baseballs He seems like such a stand-up guy Which is good because lately i've been wondering why I seem to be a magnet For every scumbag loser on the planet I'm really tired of faking stomach aches To get out of all these really bad dates So i think that the solution without question is david wright I guess that is should write him a letter And include all my thoughts on us being together But he will probably throw it out And go out a date with mariah carey And i'll be stuck still at the same old bar And to my dreams of love i'll say au revoir And i will sit there drunk Watching david wright play third on the TV screen And after i finish my fifteenth drink And i am wallowing on the brink Of misery and sorrow My friends will Catch me a cab and send me home And i will dream of the world series And david wright and other theories That will help me find love and companionship With other nice guys in 2005