When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a BB gun
I poisoned Guppies and when I was done
I'd find a p**y cat and bash in it's head
That's when my momma said
(screech)
(What did she say)
She said my boy I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay
You'll be a dentist
(You'll be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(pain)
Son, be a dentist
(son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane
(INHUMAN!)
Your temperament's wrong for priesthood and teaching would suit you still less
Son be a dentist
You'll be a success!
Girls: Here he is folks the leader of the plaque, watch him s** up that gas Oh my God!
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquee de sade
(Oh that hurts, wait I'm not numb!)
Oh shut up, open wide here I come!
I am your dentist
(Oh goodness gracious)
I enjoy the career that I picked
I am your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict!
I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
It swells and they tell me I'm mad
And though it may cause my patients distress
(Oh distress)
Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know, I know that my momma's proud of me
Cause I'm a dentist
And a success!
Say ahh
Say ahh
Say ahh
Now spit!