Alan Menken - Be a Dentist lyrics

When I was young and just a bad little kid My momma noticed funny things I did Like shooting puppies with a BB gun I poisoned Guppies and when I was done I'd find a p**y cat and bash in it's head That's when my momma said (screech) (What did she say) She said my boy I think someday You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay You'll be a dentist (You'll be a dentist) You have a talent for causing things pain (pain) Son, be a dentist (son, be a dentist) People will pay you to be inhumane (INHUMAN!) Your temperament's wrong for priesthood and teaching would suit you still less Son be a dentist You'll be a success! Girls: Here he is folks the leader of the plaque, watch him s** up that gas Oh my God! He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done by the Marquee de sade (Oh that hurts, wait I'm not numb!) Oh shut up, open wide here I come! I am your dentist (Oh goodness gracious) I enjoy the career that I picked I am your dentist And I get off on the pain I inflict! I thrill when I drill a bicuspid It swells and they tell me I'm mad And though it may cause my patients distress (Oh distress) Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me I know, I know that my momma's proud of me Cause I'm a dentist And a success! Say ahh Say ahh Say ahh Now spit!