Blame it all on my labs These bruises and scabs Is it normal to bleed when I floss? I was the last one to know What my CBC showed Why's my stool look like BBQ sauce? Ain't got no PCP So I checked WebMD And I nearly stroked out as I read So I went online and googled others to find This support group instead! Now I've got friends with low platelets Where the nosebleeds flow and prednisone chases My bruise away… Is my spleen okay? Oh, I'm not big on thrombopoiesis Think I'll skip on down to plasmapheresis Cause I got friends…with low platelets Now I've got friends with low platelets Where the prednisone causes moon facies And purple striae Is my pee ok? Now my spleen's big on sequestration Gonna send it on permanent vacation ‘Cause I gotta end these low platelets