Zack Whedon - Act 3 Scene 1: So They Say/Everyone's a Hero/Slipping/Everything You Ever lyrics

[On-screen, the NEWSWOMAN and NEWSMAN are finishing a news report.] [NEWSWOMAN] Looks like we're finding out what a true hero is. [NEWSMAN] The mayor himself will be on-hand to dedicate the new homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer. [NEWSWOMAN] It's a good day to be homeless. [NEWSMAN] Ha ha ha! It certainly is. [DR. HORRIBLE is working in his lab on a d**h Ray, and PENNY and CAPTAIN HAMMER are in the homeless shelter.] [Track 10. "So They Say"] [MOVING GUY]] So they say Captain Hammer's become a crusader Political—he's cleaning up the streets [OTHER MOVING GUY] About time [GROUPIE #1] So they say it's real love [ALL GROUPIES] So romantic [GROUPIE #2] He signed this [PENNY] So they say we'll have blankets and beds We can open by Monday, thanks to you [HAMMER] Thanks to me! [NEWSMAN & NEWSWOMAN] It's the perfect story [NEWSMAN] So they say [NEWSWOMAN] A hero leading the way [NEWSMAN & NEWSWOMAN] Hammer's call to glory [NEWSWOMAN] Let's all be our best [NEWSMAN] Next up—who's gay? [GROUPIE #3] So they say he saved her life [GROUPIE #1] They say she works with the homeless and doesn't eat meat We have a [ALL GROUPIES] Problem with her [GROUPIE #2] This is his hair [HAMMER] This is so nice I just might sleep with the same girl twice They say it's better the second time They say you get to do the weird stuff [ALL GROUPIES] We do the weird stuff [PENNY] This is perfect for me So they say, I guess he's pretty okay After years of stormy sailing Have I finally found the bay? [HORRIBLE] There's no happy ending So they say, Not for me anyway Stop pretending Take a chance to build ​a brand new day [PENNY] There's no happy ending So they say Should I ​stop pretending Or is this a brand ​new day [GROUPIE #2] This is his dry-cleaning bill [GROUPIE] Four sweater-vests! [The MAYOR starts to speak at the podium.] [MAYOR] And in just a few minutes, we'll unveil the statue of the man himself. Thank you. Thank you. Justice has a name, and the name that it has, besides Justice, is Captain Hammer. Ladies and gentlemen, your hero! [HAMMER] Thank you. Thank you Mayor for those kind words. [CAPTAIN HAMMER begins to read his speech off of cue cards, causing his words to be cut off] [HAMMER] I hate the homeless... -ness problem that plagues our city. Everyone should have the basic... You know what? I don't need tiny cue cards. When I fell deeply in love with my serious, long-term girlfriend Penny. Wave your hand Penny. There she is! Cute, huh? Sort of a quiet, nerdy thing. Not my usual, but nice. Anyway. She turned me on to this whole homeless thing, which is terrible, and I realized, I'm not the only hero in the room tonight. I'm not the only one who's fighting. [Track 11. "Everyone's a Hero"] [HAMMER] It may not feel too cla**y Begging just to eat But you know who does that? La**ie And she always gets a treat So you wonder what your part is Cause you're homeless and depressed But home is where the heart is So your real home's in your chest Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got villains they must face They're not as cool as mine But folks you know it's fine to know your place Everyone's a hero in their own way In their own not that heroic way So I thank my girlfriend, Penny Yeah, we totally had s** She showed me there's so many Different muscles I can flex There's the deltoids of compa**ion There's the abs of being kind It's not enough to bash in heads You've got to bash in minds Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's got something they can do Get up, go out, and fly Especially that guy, he smells like poo Everyone's a hero in their own way You, and you, and mostly me, and you I'm poverty's new sheriff And I'm bashing in the slums A hero doesn't care if you're a Bunch of scary, alcoholic bums! Everybody! [HAMMER] Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone can blaze a hero's trail Don't worry if it's hard If you're not a friggin' tard you will prevail Everyone's a hero in their own way Everyone's a hero in their— [Crowd] We're heroes too We're just like you Ah ah ah We're heroes too [DR. HORRIBLE comes out from under the sheet that is supposed to be the statue, and shoots CAPTAIN HAMMER with the Freeze Ray] [DR. HORRIBLE] Mmhmhmhmhmhahahahaha. [DR. HORRIBLE jumps off of the platform] [Track 12. "Slipping"] [DR. HORRIBLE] Look at these people Amazing how sheep will show up for the slaughter No one condemning you, Lined up like lemmings you led to the water Why can't they see what I see? Why can't they hear the lies? Maybe the fee's too pricy for them to realize Your disguise is slipping I think you're slipping Now that your savior is still as the grave You're beginning to fear me Like cavemen fear thunder, I still have to wonder Can you really hear me? I bring you pain, the kind you can't suffer quietly Fire up your brain, remind me inside you're rioting Society is slipping Everything's slipping away. So... [Grabs his d**h Ray and fires it in the air] [DR. HORRIBLE] Go ahead! Run away! Say it was horrible Spread the word! Tell a friend! Tell them the tale Get a pic! Do a blog! Heroes are over with Look at him! Not a word! Hammer meet nail! Then I win, then I get everything I ever All the cash! And the fame! And social change Anarchy, that I run! It's Dr. Horrible's turn You people all have to learn This world is going to burn! Burn! [Turns to a reporter] [DR. HORRIBLE] Yeah, it's two R's. H-O-R-R, yeah. Burn! No sign of Penny Good, I would give anything not to have her see It's gonna be bloody, head up Billy buddy There's no time for mercy Here goes no mercy! [As "Slipping" finishes, the Freeze Ray audibly powers down.] [DR. HORRIBLE] That's not a good sound... [CAPTAIN HAMMER punches DR. HORRIBLE, sending him and the d**h Ray flying back. CAPTAIN HAMMER walks over and picks up the d**h Ray, puts his foot on DR. HORRIBLE, and finishes "Everyone's a Hero"] [HAMMER] Way! A d**h Ray. Looks like Dr. Horrible's moving up. Let's see if this one works any better than your others. [DR. HORRIBLE] Don't... [HAMMER (interrupting)] I don't have time for your warnings. You give my regards to Saint Peter. Or whoever has his job, but in Hell. [CAPTAIN HAMMER fires the d**h Ray, but it backfires and sends him flying backwards. The d**h Ray shatters.] [HAMMER] AAAGGGHHHH! I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like. Oh mama! Someone maternal! Get out of my way! [CAPTAIN HAMMER exits. DR. HORRIBLE gets up and looks around. He looks over to see that PENNY has been struck by the shrapnel of the d**h Ray. DR. HORRIBLE runs over to her.] [DR. HORRIBLE] Penny! Penny! Penny. [PENNY] Billy? Is that you? [DR. HORRIBLE] Penny, hold on. Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. [PENNY] Billy? Are you alright? [DR. HORRIBLE] Hold on. [PENNY] It's okay. It's okay. Captain Hammer will save us. [PENNY dies. DR. HORRIBLE tries to speak, but incoherent starts of words come out. He stands up and reporters come up to him with cameras] [CROWD (all struggling to get Dr. Horrible's attention)] Dr. Horrible! Why did you k** her? Dr. Horrible! [Track 13. "Everything You Ever"] [DR. HORRIBLE] Here lies everything The world I wanted at my feet My victory's complete So hail to the king Arise and sing So your world's benign So you think justice has a voice And we all have a choice Well now your world is mine And I am fine [DR. HORRIBLE puts on his new lab coat and starts to enter the conference room of the E.L.E.] [DR. HORRIBLE] Now the nightmare's real Now Dr. Horrible is here To make you quake with fear To make the whole world kneel And I won't feel [BILLY is in his lab] [BILLY] A thing.