Zach Sherwin - Zeus vs. Thor lyrics

[Intro] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! ZEUS! VS! THOR! BEGIN! [Zeus] How dare you challenge my immortal throne? I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone Maybe Odin could beg me for a truce, cause when Zeus lets loose I'll put your cross-dressing neck in a noose I'm like Medusa, I'll stone a motherf**er if he looks at me wrong I'm a bull, getting b**hes with my swan schlong I'm on point like Poseidon's trident Rhymes colder than the frosty balls of your giants [Thor] Allow Thor to retort, you shape-shifting rapist And get a taste of this Scandinavian greatness Brought forth by my raging thunderstorm force Cause I don't get nice, I get Norse (Noirse!) Valhalla-atcha boy and we'll flyte it out But keep your Asgard up, I Ragnarök the house You tongue kiss your sister, that's grosser than a Gorgon I'm the thunder down under, nailing Natalie Portman Who would ever worship someone as abusive as Zeus is? You're ruthless to humans, your crew is like the Clash of the Douches Ruling over the Greeks, a people weak and frightened I'd spit in your face but you'd probably like it [Zeus] Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy With astronomy, they charted out the movements of my kin All the pimps on Mount Olympus and me the kingpin Let this sink in, I'm about to rain on your parade Itchy trigger finger quicker with the bolts than Usain You're history, I'll be the first to put it in writing MC Hammer just got struck twice by greased lightning [Thor] Rain, old man? This is hardly a drizzle You couldn't give the women in my homeland the sniffles You can keep your astronomers, I'll sail with the conquerors For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents I'm alpha dog dominant, you can't beat me I will drop you like Greece's GDP Send you deeper underground than the depths of your Hades Now make like your daddy, and swallow my babies [Zeus] You think the underworld scares the ruler of the skies? You're joking, Loki must have written your lines By the time I've finished whipping you with wits and rhymes You'll need a lighter for your ship, cause a viking just died [Thor] Your glory days are over, The Oracle shoulda told'ya I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "opa" Here, take these drachma for your eyes When you get to River Styx, tell your three headed b**h I say hi (woof!) [Outro] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC- *Noises* RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!