Zach Sherwin - Donald Trump vs Ebenezer Scrooge lyrics

[Intro: Announcer] EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! DONALD TRUMP! VERSUS! EBENEZER SCROOGE! BEGIN! [Verse 1: Donald Trump] Wake up, Scrooge! I'm about to take a Dickens of a dump On this lonely, homely little miserable grump I'm like the star on a Christmas tree, you're like the stump I'm not known for my heart but you're still getting Trumped You remind me of my ex-wife in a bikini, cause you disgust me Keep your TB from Tiny Timmy away from me, don't even touch me I don't shake hands, I don't make fans I ruin rappers faster than Scottish lands Even Jay-Z knows what a pimp I am I got my name on the front of the business, man! My raps'll haunt you, make you think you're going insane You're about to get whooped by three emcees of the ethereal plane So when the clock strikes, prepare to enter a world of Christmas pain Cause I'm out, I got my own f**ing problems, call me 2 Chainz [Verse 2: Ebenezer Scrooge] How dare you disturb me when I'm napping in my chair You're a crappy rap spitting apparition, I ain't scared Of this random phantom, haunt all you want, I don't care I do not believe in ghosts and I don't believe that hair [Verse 3: J.P. Morgan] Don't panic, Scrooge, but you're about to crash I'm J.P. Morgan, the Ghost of Rich Dude's Past Who's properly rocking the Monopoly mustache Yo, I own the railroad, I run these tracks You got dumped on a bench, now you're pissed at the world You should have made like Sebastian, and kissed the girl Because your greed is the curse that's gonna tear you apart What good is your purse if you're poor in your heart? [Verse 4: Ebenezer Scrooge] Bah humbug! Your raps don't unnerve me, they're atrocious What frightens me the most is your gross ghost proboscis Business and success, that's the life I've selected So enough with your pictures from the past, I'm not affected [Verse 5: Kanye West] Well you're about to be right now I'm the ghost of what's right now Just take a lesson from Yeezy You missing the point, Ebenezy There's more to life than your work, take it easy Even I can make time for Azizy Best put some friends on your wish list Cause you don't know the spirit of Christmas If you did than you would at this moment Be sharing your money with some of the homeless [Verse 6: Ebenezer Scrooge] No! This isn't happening Oh, this is maddening agony– wait! Actually, harkening back to the dead Donald's lecture I still am expecting a final specter! [Verse 7: d**h] Boo! (Ahh!) You're gonna die With no one to love you and no one to cry Alone by yourself on the bed of your d**h With the stench of regret on your last dying breath Cause you've chosen the path of a selfish man With Tiny Tim's innocent blood on your hands The penance you pay for the way you behave Is written as plain as the name on this grave [Verse 8: Ebenezer Scrooge] Are these the shadows of things that will be Or things that may be, only If I depart from my course can they change Say it is thus with what you show me I promise to mend my ways A friend to all men is what I will become It's Christmas! I haven't missed my chance to be different, God bless us every- [Outro: Announcer] WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!