Zach Braff - Kenny the Cop lyrics

INT. THE GARAGE – NIGHT TIME [Andrew uncovers a WWII army motorcycle. "Caring Is Creepy" by The Shins plays.] INT. THE STREETS [Andrew picks the speed up on a dark lonely road and gets pulled over by a police car.] KENNY Put your hands on your head, please. ANDREW What? KENNY I said put your motherf**ing hands on your head! Please. Eighty-two in a 25. What are you gonna tell me, you're late or just tired? ANDREW I was... KENNY Shut the f** up! Largeman? ANDREW Kenny? KENNY Holy sh**! KENNY Oh, man. How you doing? ANDREW I'm... I'm great. KENNY Your mom just died! ANDREW I know. KENNY I mean, that's why you're home. ANDREW Yeah. Yup. You're a cop, Kenny? KENNY Yeah, I know. I know. ANDREW Why? KENNY I don't know. Couldn't think of anything better to do. No, but it's really cool though, man. People really listen to you. I mean...they have to! Yo, and check this sh** out. [Shows him the gun] That's the safety . ANDREW Oh, cool. KENNY And plus, the benefits, man. If I get shot, I'm like...rich! ANDREW But, Kenny, the last time I saw you, you were doing coke lines off a urinal. KENNY La, la, la, la. No, I had to grow up, man. It's time to grow up. Plus, I wasn't making sh** in that fish market. No one knew who I was, couldn't get laid. It's a much better situation for me, man. Speaking of which, um, how'd I do? ANDREW What do you mean? KENNY I don't know. KENNY You know, just the whole... ANDREW You mean, like, as a cop? KENNY Yeah. The whole, "Shut the f** up!" ANDREW Well, I thought you were a dick, so I guess that's good. KENNY Nice. So, what the f**, man? You're this huge movie star now? I heard you did some...you played a big football player or something. I didn't see it. ANDREW It was just this thing... KENNY f**ing De Niro and sh**. ANDREW What? KENNY He's awesome. ANDREW Yeah. KENNY Deer Hunter. ANDREW Yeah. KENNY Man, we should sit down and we should talk...because I've got some really good ideas for movies. You could play me and sh**. Poof! Stories from the Force! Yeah. ANDREW Yeah, definitely. That sounds good.