[Verse 1: Chris Trott] I am walking down the street Got a smile on my face and some sh** in my teeth [Verse 2: Ross Hornby] Oh my god Look at that elf He clearly doesn't care about his personal health [Verse 3: Chris Trott] Hey! You twat Stop looking at me I'll sh** in your face And piss in your tea [Verse 4: Ross Hornby] Oh, oh mate I don't mean it like that [Verse 5: Chris Trott] Well shut the f** up Get out of me you twat! [Chorus: Alex Smith] I don't need no girls I don't need no boys I'm a pleasure elf I can just touch myself 'Cuz I don't need no girls I don't need no boys I'm a pleasure elf I can just touch myself [Bridge: Ross Hornby] Pleasure Elf Ple-Pleasure Elf Pleasure Elf Ple-Pleasure Elf (Pleasure Elf) Pleasure Elf Ple-Pleasure Elf (Pleasure Elf) Pleasure Elf Ple-Pleasure Elf [Chorus: Alex Smith] I don't need no girls I don't need no boys I'm a pleasure elf I can just touch myself 'Cuz I don't need no girls I don't need no boys I'm a pleasure elf I can just touch myself I can just touch myself